Lashes, whips, a thousand marks
Silent screams, blood-curdling laughs
Mirage of hope studded in my soles
You acted like you weren’t the tallest
Like the first-aid box on the fridge couldn’t be seen
And I knew, and we knew
Pretending to play a game
Mask so strong, cannot pull it off
One trial and my face bleeds
This is too tiring
Boots dirty from nightly rounds
Packed bag hidden of food and maps
But you asked me to starve so I trusted you
Because it was you, I waited
Years after years, shards in your throat
I sit with ties around my hands
Can feed others so I do
Can’t fold elbow to eat myself
I still wait while you eat
Licking the morsel dropping out of your mouth
I was okay forgiving you
Gave a million chances
Too much love because I was taught it
Duties upon duties till I broke insane
Pills after pills till I puked all strength
Knotted a rope but the ceiling fell
Crushed the entire family
I still gave you the rope
Tie me again, it’s okay
I’ll forgive you again
You’ll hurt me again
This is how we live and love
I haven’t known anything more
Worthless is knowledge that starves
You are my epicenter and periphery
Violence on your lips, dripping into mine
Bruises aren’t allowed to heal
Leaving wounds to fester so they hurt more
Anything less only starves more
Feed me kicks, I don’t want to be hungry
I’m okay with slaps, please don’t leave me
And when I got over everything
Boots dirtied for the last time that night
Packed bag picked up
You knock on the door with the first aid box
You wanna heal me, feed me vegetables
I look at you and laugh
There is no freedom from your cage
You are too magnanimous and bountiful
Thank you for your care
I will love you again
I will love you and you won’t let me kill myself
That much is enough
Kill me yourself, I’ll wait again
I love you.
~ Aru Shan
Aru Shan 
Made me want to cry. Nobody beautifies pain like you do. Nobody embodies strength as you do. I showed this to a friend, she actually cried. 🙂 Scared by how much I relate to this. I love you sisso
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